Welcome To Fall Lady!

The leaves have started changing here. It’s really one of my favorite times of the year. I look forward to it every year. I love seeing all the colors come as the leaves fall. It’s pretty amazing really how all of that beauty comes as nature goes dormant and begins its sleep for winter.

I looked at a picture of myself and noticed all the lines on my face and I realized I am getting older. The crepe like lines that I used to notice on my mom and grandmother are now appearing on my face, and no amount of moisturizing and creams are taking it away.

The doctor has started saying words to me like “arthritis” and “cataracts.” I even heard the phrase “knee replacement” at one of my last appointments. I have a pill box now. Seriously. One with morning AND evening pills. (It’s big you guys. Like COMICALLY BIG.)

I get out of chairs and find myself walking like my mom sometimes. My knee cracks for the first five to six steps every time I get out of the seated position. My Left hip aches when the weather changes. I had a bone removed in my left hand because the arthritis was so bad. I need readers to be able to read anything in regular sized print. I pee when I laugh.

WTF HAPPENED TO ME? Welcome to FALL LADY!

In some circles I am known as the Original Shennanigator! I was the girl who kept the party going and made sure everyone had a drink in their hand. I made the shots! I had MAD DANCE MOVES! I could head bang like a rock star, I wasn’t afraid to flash a rock band, I wore short skirts, I wore high heels, I could shotgun a beer better than any frat guy, and I tailgated like a rockstar at many Chiefs games.

She didn’t hurt. She could go on little sleep. She was BAD ASS.

I mean, I realize life happens and party me had to settle down. I got married. I had kids. I have a grown-up life. But I miss her a little. When I roll out of bed to get my Advil, I miss her a lot. And I’ll be damned if I can’t remember when I lost her….

I think maybe life has felt a little heavy lately. And I think maybe the reality of autumn has really hit a parallel with where I feel in my life.

Autumn.

The reality is I’m not 35 anymore, even if I feel like I am in my brain anymore, and when my body starts to remind me of it, it’s easy to get wrapped up in that. So today I’m going to take some time to remind myself of the colorful me. The me who has fun, the me who lives her life with colors and beauty and joy. The me who maybe doesn’t party all night, but the me who doesn’t focus on the aches and pains of life, but the me who enjoys each day and tries to make people smile, rather than focusing on the parts of life that maybe are harder.

Autumn isn’t an ending. It’s a change.

Change. My life is different. Maybe a little more uncomfortable and a little more out of focus, but still beautiful and good. My face may have wrinkles and lines, but man a lot more of those have come from laughing my ass off than crying, and I hope to gain many more from that. I may have aches and pains and cracking joints, but they all work, and luckily ibuprofen does wonders to keep my kick ass dance moves coming when my knees are aching!

This is my reminder to myself. Keep smiling. Keep dancing. Keep laughing. Don’t let the heavy feelings of everyday life or the aches and pains or the feeling of age steal the good.

Remember what keeps you young.

Keep your autumn colorful. It’s wayyyy better that way.