Remembering.....

I have been thinking a lot about memories lately.   My memories.   My children’s memories.   My Family memories.

I don’t know if it’s indicative of the holidays and the chaos it usually brings, or the inevitable aging I feel daily when I get out of bed, but this year has brought a feeling of wanting to hold on to the joy in my life in a way I haven’t felt before….I want to remember.   EVERYTHING.  

Things are changing all around me.   My children are growing up and finding lives of their own, my father has passed, my mother is aging.    I have lost many aunts, uncles, and grandparents.    I am seeing new friends and their young families with new babies enjoying the holidays in new ways that seem like a lifetime ago to me. 

I find myself wondering.....where did the time go.   And will I always remember all the beauty my life has brought me.

I can’t imagine a world where I won’t have these memories of my life, yet I see it happen daily to friends and family.   Time moves on and the edges of the pictures in our memories start to fade.   Memories become whispers we can barely hear anymore.

So I say this....hold on people.    Hold on to what is important in your life.   Look around you and take it in.    Take in the good.   Take in the bad.   Take in the moments that didn’t go as planned, and find a reason to value them too.

Tonight as I look at the Christmas tree that still stands in my living room, I have a choked up feeling in my heart.   Each of those ornaments reminds me of a time in my past.   Jason and My first Christmas together.   The kids and their Christmas memories.   Trips we have taken.   Friends we have cherished.   Family no longer with us....   Memories.   Real.   True.  

In this new year I am looking ahead to I am going to try to live my life in a way that burns those memories into my consciousness.   I am going to try not to worry so much about the perfection I could have created, but the moments I am living in.   The laughter I am having.   The joy I am feeling. The tears I have shed. These memories I will carry with me after these moments are gone.    The REAL ones.    The HONEST ones.   And if no pictures make “the gram” then I will still have them in my mind because I took the time to be present and enjoy all my life has given me.

And I will hang on with all my might, for as long as I can.

And I will be thankful for them.  

Every. Single. Day.

Just my thoughts today.    Thanks for coming along as I have them.