I'm Getting My Crutches Out

You know how when you break a bone in your leg, you rely on crutches to get you through until you are strong enough to bear your own weight? It’s normal to accept this as common practice. No one EVER questions this.

Why is it then, that when we aren’t feeling emotionally strong, we feel like we have to continue to walk on the broken parts of us and pretend that everything is okay? Why can’t we view this as the same thing?

Pain is pain is pain, and sometimes we need assistance to get through it.

It doesn’t matter what it is, when it happens, we need to take the time and precautions to make sure we are okay.

Lately for me there have been a lot of things going on in my world that are causing me anxiety. Some of it is resolved, and some is still in process, and I'm sure there is always something lurking around the proverbial corner. It grows heavy and makes me feel lost sometimes. Because of this, I have found myself reaching for any life preserver that will keep me upright in the water that seems to be creeping higher and higher around me. What really sucks is when I look from the outside I find myself associating judgement on the things I am choosing to help me cope.

My inner judge, jury, and executioner keeps saying things like: "You should be strong enough to do this. You shouldn’t feel like you need this to survive. That choice isn’t healthy. That choice has too many calories. Do you really want a glass of wine? Get off Amazon. Go exercise and stop binging reality TV. Be better. Get over it. Buck up!"

What I am writing here is just a little something to remind myself, a boat can’t move without oars to push it. You can’t walk on a broken bone without crutches. Don’t place judgement on what makes you feel like you can maintain your balance until you can walk on your own again. That is what we do. We use the crutches until we are healed enough to walk unassisted. We don't use them daily. We get them when we need them, then they get tucked away in a closet or a storage room as our breaks begin to heal and we begin to regain our balance. We keep them, so that IF we need them, they are there.

And that is okay.

Honor those things that carry you through. They serve a purpose. When the hard time passes, you can put them away again. Don’t associate guilt with survival. Sometimes we just need a little support.

We all deserve the things that make healing easier.